There is a strange paradox that in order to be joined with the ‘infinite’ God, we need to be reduced to zero. Any aspirations of being transformed into His image are meaningless, as often our perception of God is nothing more than the extension of our own ideals; indeed, it is as if we have transformed ‘God’ into our image albeit in its most perfect form. In truth, we barely understand anything that is spiritual. Ironically it is not the ‘spirit-world’ that is ethereal and vague but our own, which is shadowy and flat. A small nugget of this spiritual matter could in fact encompass the whole universe. If we are to become ‘spiritual-beings’ then our perspective of life needs to be realigned with this ‘new’ world. The inner contentment that is achieved with the surrendering the control of our own being, together with the acknowledgement of our own ineptitude, stupidity and flawed nature, will become the platform upon which our spirit can grow.  

At times, I barely recognise myself; when I delve into my own history there is a sense of detachment. However, every now and then I cringe at the embarrassing episodes of my life, just when I was about to believe in myself. I am hopelessly flawed, and my mistakes cannot be undone so that my image will be forever tarnished. Surely, God would not have allowed this, but then I realised He was simply trying to uproot that which most evil and destructive in my life - me. What I mistook for punishment was His Hand working and sculpting me to do the things He commanded namely, to forgive others and love ‘thine’ enemies; this spiritual surgery would have been less painful had I simply acquiesced and not resisted. What I thought was the Devil’s work in terms of temptation was actually my own, by trying to preserve my own ego and self-righteousness, not realising that this humiliation was a blessing and rather than being abandoned He was lavishing His attention on me.

We are encouraged to strive hard to better ourselves through education, material acquisitions or by undergoing intellectual or ethical cleansing. We convince ourselves not only of our self-importance, social standing, but seek to occupy the moral high ground. This pursuit is based on the sanctity of Man and the need to be honoured by mankind to achieve some form of immortality; to be victorious. However, this dream is marred, as the endeavours leave us permanently scarred by our faults and subsequent failure to treat others with kindness and consideration, presumably because we are too busy or simply not interested enough to care. It is as if the goal is ‘right’ that of becoming ‘perfect’ but the methodology we employ is constantly counterproductive. To ‘right’ oneself is like ‘pulling yourself up by your shoelaces’. As much as this is our main objective, we cannot be involved as our own ego is the problem; so, who can bring about the necessary changes – only God. To save ourselves we need to surrender wholeheartedly to Him and allow Him to fashion us into something that is beyond our imagination or recognition.

It is only recently that I have discovered the power of forgiveness and how God’s Love has been extended to cover the sins of our enemies. Some would even regard this ‘leniency’ as a betrayal of God’s Law and His ‘obvious’ demand for righteousness. What irks some religious leaders is the apparent assertion that they too should embrace this philosophy, which entails letting go of their trusted values, as they see it as an invitation for chaos and moral anarchy. The truth is that the real need for forgiveness often happens when you (or your closest loved ones) appear in the moral cross-hairs of religious or social codes of conduct that are arbitrarily used to define good and evil; this scenario can also arise after you inadvertently request the truth and plea to God to be made more wholesome. Those of us who made such appeals were expecting to undergo some mild readjustments, such as being semi-pampered in some spiritual beauty parlour; we did not imagine having to endure the seemingly brutal treatment that actually follows such an entreaty.

We generally underestimate the need to hold back our feelings, to bite the tongue that would otherwise make moral outcries, and instead standstill even when one may identify the perpetrators of obvious wrong doings. There is that wise saying that whenever you point a finger at someone else, there will be three fingers pointing back at you. Truth is that double-edged sword and will easily smite those who attempt to wield it albeit in righteous indignation. For one thing, we can never be sure of the extent of God’s love and mercy and therefore what right have we, to accuse our fellow man for their trespasses, when we ourselves, are hardly blameless.

When pride reaches its pinnacle, the level of arrogance and self-declared wisdom means it no longer feels the need for God. This is humanity’s most precarious period when it effectively has turned its back on God and shunned His Love and care. One would be tempted to feel that His Love for us all, would grow cold and that we would be ultimately doomed. What can we do during this spiritual darkness where people fumble around, where there is no longer clarity in thought and where self-interest prevails? Here we can still mirror God’s Love in the same way the moon at nighttime can provide light and comfort to the Earth, offering some illumination for those who are lost. Similarly, just as the moon has no light of its own, we also have no intrinsic love by ourselves; we can simply reflect the Love that God has shown us.

We have a work to do but it is not leaving a legacy for others, nor is it to produce some great works for future generations to admire, such as a grand monument whether it be intellectual or set in concrete. Why is this you ask? It is because on the moment of death all the ‘earth’ will vanish from your new reality. There is a saying that you ‘can’t take it with you’ and therefore all your labours will be to little avail. What you actually have left is simply ‘you’. This was after all the real gift – your spirit, and you will be judged by what you did with it. So, it is a time to build up the spirit using those most precious of tools, namely humility and forgiveness.

My earliest memories were those of travelling, literally wherever my mind wondered, I remember soaring through buildings, which remarkably were not solid. The journey was predestined but the underlying purpose was somehow hidden from me. No words were uttered, but surprisingly there was no need to accumulate knowledge or seek any explanation. My identity was minuscule, name, gender, possessions were not relevant. There was perhaps a rawness in my feelings which could be mistaken for innocence. Unlike dreams there was an awareness that this was indeed a higher reality. If I could have gazed into a mirror at that time, it is unlikely I would have recognised myself.

Hunting for evil is surprisingly elusive. Wherever we venture, the earth around us seems tainted, yet the perpetrators remain invisible to us. This is life’s great ‘whodunit’, an intriguing mystery which both frightens and fascinates us. Being ‘moral’ as such, we assign to ourselves the role of the detective, who will investigate and track down these evil doers, but to our constant disappointment they seem to always be one step ahead. We need to be cleverer and more knowledgeable; our endeavours appear to be successful as we create great works of art and explore the hidden depths of science.

The doctrine of individualism is so attractive for within its much vaunted ‘freedom’ is the prospect of controlling one’s own future. This seems exciting and adventurous with the opportunity to improve one’s lot in life; one only needs to try one’s best. However, one is coerced to compete with your fellow man; a survival of the fittest, a seemingly fair meritocracy but in essence it serves only to place you at a higher vantage point; elitism at it most subtle, a betrayal of your humanity and compassion. The other problem of being in charge of one’s future, is the responsibility it entails. For you then have to plan in meticulous detail not just one’s own life but that of your family and even friends. The slightest mistake, you are told could have dire consequences and understandably you seek help and assistance, which comes in the form of education and professional advice. The irony being that no sooner are you given the right to determine your own life, you subconsciously hand over the controls to someone else. These ‘do-gooders’ are only too happy to come to your aid because your misery has given them a ‘raison d’etre’.

We are tempted to view War and the problems it brings, as being avoidable, unnecessary and the epitome of all that it evil. However, this perception, while popular is misleading; for the alternatives could mean ignoring that which is truly evil, submitting unreservedly to an oppressive regime or even to betray all that is precious or sacred to us. Some things are worth fighting for and indeed the potential sacrifice involved to save others is the hallmark of heroism. The real issue, however, is who is the enemy? We are no longer talking of political opponents where people seek to control and subjugate others because this form of overt persecution only led to stout resistance and the creation of martyrs. The real enemy was of course more cunning and devious; by pretending to promote freedoms it sought a more long-term and permanent strategy namely of indoctrination and material well-being. Thus, technology and mass media together with educational reforms have attempted to make religion redundant, old fashioned and naïve. Modern liberalism with its emphasis on individuality and materialism hopes to succeed where communism had failed, indeed the former prides itself on its economic competency and promises of prosperity.

So, there you are, my long-lost friend, you look lost and forlorn. Surprisingly, this is a good sign for at least you have come to realise the ongoing futility of modern society. I heard you were looking for somebody like me. I am sorry to say I had wandered off and to such an extent you thought I was no longer in reach or possibly disinterested in your welfare; nothing could be further from the truth. Even worse you felt forgotten and alone. I hadn’t realised you were trying to follow me but in truth I didn’t want you to follow ME for I have often got lost myself and am easily distracted and rarely seem to follow my own path. I am certainly not fit to be your guide, for how would I even know where you are going or where your true destiny is, which only you can know. I am talking about the special destination each of us is given, the one that provides us with our purpose in life – our own secret mission.