The Mask

There was a time when I stated that I needed more evidence before I made any rash declaration, and while I still intend to lie low, I feel time is running out. Deep within my memories are other worldly experiences, which render reality, even with all its adornments and knowledge, to be temporal and vain. Indeed, to add to this vanity we each don the mask of conformity. This mask is simply the daily façade which each of us upholds to create an illusion of wisdom, morality and general happiness. This pretence is unintentional and possibly subconscious; however, it is so convincing no-one dares to question it. So, we steadfastly engage in this masquerade and conform to the mass delusion about who we really are and what our purpose in life is about. We even joke about the fear of examining our inner self like an embarrassing relative whom we need to lock away in some dank cellar. Thus, the real ‘us’ is hidden from view to the extent that for most times, we even fail to recognise who we are, becoming ever increasingly isolated. If we then doubt the existence of this feeling in others, a sense of complete loneliness ensues.

As a child, I was taught to believe in God and later that this belief should assume supreme importance above our daily struggles, now I recognise that that God is not the most important thing in life to believe in but the ONLY important thing to believe in. This is a hard truth to bear for by this bold proclamation it means humanity with all its history, knowledge (from all the arts and sciences) and even all our personal relationships and feelings, pale into insignificance.

Mankind is riddled with hypocrisy; pretending to care whereas in reality it is merely self-serving, draining away our spiritual hope and leaving us with a legacy of disjointed pleasure and ultimate ruin. The unrestrained me is however, dangerous and wilful being incompatible with any heavenly abode; in that form, I do not wish to be saved. Instead, I need to remind myself that this ‘life’ could turn into a nightmare, but through prayer can I sense the thrill, excitement and absolute wonder that those special glimpses can bring.