Despair

There will always be that time or indeed times in your life when you will not only despise yourself but heap ridicule upon your very being and strip away any purpose or meaning to your very existence. Strangely this nightmarish scenario is a great opportunity, for within the depth of this ugliness is true understanding. Our purpose in life is not bound in recognition or esteem nor is it linked with a legacy or contribution to Man’s achievements; instead, it is quiet and anonymous merely there to reflect God’s Love into other people’s lives. This Love however is surprisingly harsh and caustic for in shining through us it breaks the very fabric of our own ego and dissolves the facades that provide superficial meaning to our lives.

So, we are left damaged and seemingly forgotten as we rummage through the broken parts of our lives. We look to our fellow man to provide an answer to our despair, but their response involves creating further illusions and unattainable goals, so leaving us to feel even more useless and powerless. I find myself haunted ever more so by the memories of the mistakes, foolish comments and bizarre acts that I have made or carried out; it is if the bridges to respectability have been well and truly burned.

The obvious albeit forgotten truth is that we are indeed useless and that our life is of little worth. There is however real hope in that we need not be alone and that through God’s intervention we can be useful to others and be a positive influence in their lives; and so the chain reaction of God’s Love can continue, a Love that binds us to each other, so that instead of striving for admiration, fame and fortune, others will acknowledge our contribution in their own lives and so we become truly loved; what greater achievement in life can there be.